ISS Pathfinder

You taste of honey, of wildflowers, of sweet red clover abundantly in bloom on heather flanked moors. Soft silk pulled taut, the captive struggle: to know sweet submission.

Because God himself would bend to bruised knees, head bowed and hands folded in supplication at the sight of you. Laid flat on the altar, I bite into sacrament.

I think that we should have been born twins, sister of mine. Something of you has always known a little portion of me- the red wine staining your white cotton dress, Sunday's best.

It's a heady rush: a blur of blackjack and rattling dice, bright neon lights baking down hot overhead and sweaty bodies thrumming with the thrill of conquest.

Unfurling petals, slick with the damp of morning dew- the sweet honey of jasmine on the vine.

I feel as if I've always known you- no matter how far apart geography may have stranded us from one another. I've always been here.

There is no corner of the world I will not dissect and tear apart, macerate and sift through with the blunt edge of a probe- the slick give of flesh beneath touch.

I tapped my shoes impatiently on the tile flooring. I thought of you, and of blood pooling red in milk, and how those two images were one and same- sickly curdled.

Yeah, you could call me something of an old fashioned man- I've got a way with gears and wires: I'll blow the circuit breaker asunder to Kingdom Come.

You are so bright in your goodness- it sustains hope. You have always been beautiful to me. Tell me to jump- I'll ask how high.

I don't have to be heavy handed to make it hurt. All I have to do is show you what you've done.

I wouldn't consider myself a betting man, but I know how to hedge them. I am, after all- a physicist. We deal with improbabilities on a daily basis.

The cold stole something of my soul, blew it up into the stars in a fog of warm breath in wintry air. I'll never get it back- and I think I'm okay with that.

To run wild and free with mud spattered limbs and loose hair, messy plaits of wild flowers and running barefoot over warm earth- before this world taught you shame.

So let's party until we drive the night away- let the sun rise up and shine down on my face, because I've never been more truly alive.

No matter rain or shine, or if you've had a hard day- I'll be there as your friend, take your hand in mine, and remind you better times are just up ahead.

I have never felt at ease- not once in my life. A perpetual stranger to the play that is my own life, hiding away at the edges of reality, occupying those liminal spaces.

Time has taken it's toll on the both of us, responsibilities crushing our shoulders- but the warm buzz of caffeine and your smile is worth all the physiotherapy in the world.

My past is always just behind me, brushing cold fingers across the back of my neck, dipping low beneath the edge of my shirt's collar.

I don't ask you for much. I'm asking you for this. Please, stay. You make the night gentler, as it eases in through those shrouded windows, Laurel.